I got a BFN this morning. I didn't expect it to be +, we were a little off on our timing this month... it was possible but not probable. Then a friend who was pregnant with her first at the same time I was pregnant with S, posted on FB that she's pregnant with her second. That was the 6th or 7th person who was pregnant when I was to announce another pregnancy or birth in the last month or so. I know this is only my second cycle since pregnancy and that it's still really early for testing but I'm still feeling left behind and all those feelings that have never really gone away are getting louder in my head.
Funny enough, it may really be a blessing that I'm not pregnant as I really need some major dental work but can't God just heal my teeth? I know how pathetic I sound. I can laugh at myself but it's still hard and unfortunately I didn't realize until just now how much I took out my disappointment from this morning on my dear little S. That child will have no purgatory time, as having me for a mother will have been enough!
I'm sorry I haven't updated the hospital story yet. I just haven't been able to get myself back into the place to write about it again.
S has been doing really well lately. Her blood sugar has remained in the normal range, her skin is looking better everyday (although the diaper rash is a bit worse again - still NOTHING like what it was) and she's sleeping better. Poor thing did get stung by a bee or wasp on Wednesday. She did really well with the whole thing and had only a minimal reaction but the sting site is still bothering her some. It just broke my heart to see her start screaming like that.
Okay so here is my soap box for today: GOD IS GOOD ALL OF THE TIME, not just when things are going good! I know I'm preaching to the choir on this one but some comments on FB have really been annoying me. I know the people mean well but when they write things like "Glad to hear the good news!!! God is good", I know that they subscribe to the health and wealth gospel of "if you pray hard enough or well enough that you will be blessed." Nothing could be farther from the truth. I so wish that those health and wealth gospel types could understand that God is ALWAYS good and that He does answer prayer in the best way for our salvation. I wish they could understand redemptive suffering. I wish that they knew the Communion of Saints. I wish so many things but I'm not very good at helping people gently find the truth. Is this God asking me to work through my weaknesses or Him trying to teach me to learn to let go? Crud another thing to discern. I'm off my soapbox now.
I'm so glad that we're in this time of prayer buddies again. It has been so good for me to offer up some of this for my prayer buddy and to know that someone is praying for me.
Prayer buddy - please pray for healing in my family.
Blessings Everyone! CC
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